Perfumerie

The thing about change is that it is relentless. It happens whether or not we are aware of it. We age before our own eyes and the progress is so continual yet so miniscule we are unable to notice it until we have put a gap of time between what was considered the past and what is the present.

I think about this in leiu of my past relationship. It was one of those relationships that was so catatonic and you knew it going in that you were going to be a different person coming out. You just didn't know if it was going to be good or bad. But you still submerged yourself into it. That is the problem with the human mind. Even if we know it's bad, we think well if just for a minute it can't be that bad. I should be living life (it may seem I am contradiction of my last post until you read further). The problem is, we don't know when to put space between us to really observe what is going on to make sound judgment. I relate it to a vampire upon getting his first suck of blood, it's almost impossible to pull away. It becomes hungry for more and it appears that it's appetite is insatiable and then let's face it, the guy/gal seems to just a literal life sucker. 

Even while applying perfume I have realized that overtime I have come to really get used to a specific scents. I remember the day I got one in particular and I was realized it wasn't my favorite and it didn't really fit the aromatic style I was going for. I gave it a chance though, playing with it in different settings and changing my thought pattern on the character I thought it portrayed. (Yea, I do this with perfumes, it allows me to develop characters and alter egos.) For instance if I want to feel woodsy but business casual I wear Gucci Flora, If I want to feel charming and inviting but decadent I wear Dolce and Gabbana The One, Sophisticated and feminine with class I choose Ralph Lauren Style. The list goes on. It's the one thing that makes me feel refreshed and with new identity and purpose so I don't become stationary in any one area in my life. It also triggers a explicit memory retaining sensory, so it directly slings me to positive thoughts (well mostly positive,  because I was anticipating something new and exciting upon applying said perfume) even though my other visual and textile senses may be reporting to my brain that, "Hey this place that you are in right now Charlie, well, it's a real shit hole. You should give up." Perfume... well it makes me persevere. It gives me that little morsel of beauty that is invisible to the eye.

Bringing that back around to the relationship. Well, I have to sit back and think, do I appreciate the men who I liked immediately or the ones that it took me a while to get used to? Do I like one more than the other? It's a tough call and it's strange, but I think I enjoyed the one I had to teach myself to understand and learn to like. It was an active course for change. When I wanted to give up I had to constantly look in my self and say, can you go one step further? However, it should be said I should have given myself time and space to adjust to the continual change, because after so much pushing forward you forget to nourish yourself and without nourishment we wither away. Looking back on that relationship I also learned the most, because it was so out of my normal realm of life that so many other senses were alert to make try to assess the completely new territory. More on that love story later...

Fight for your life

So as of late I have been running into some pretty crazy messages life has been trying to signal to me. Basically it comes down to this. We as a society, has stopped fighting for our lives. We have become stagnate.

Fight against having the internet or your phone control you. How much money you make or the car you drive. Fight to live. To not just slump down and take it. People's attitudes are bad all over, but if we aren't fighting back who may I ask is? We are always ready to pass the buck on to someone else, because I aren't ready to give things up that we want. It isn't fair, we just got to play with the new toy and so many other had already experienced it. Alas, soon there will be something else new and the thing we coveted so much two weeks ago has already become old news. Even people are being treated this way. Like disposable objects with no value. I suppose that is what happens when things have no consequence to action, or perhaps we have become so numb to even realize what consequence is.

I just think back to when I was a kid, being thankful that I could feel safe, but always wondering how grown ups kept it together. It was such a mystery to me, but I felt like my parents were my warriors. Fighting for me, even though own no such apparel that was indicative that they fought crime at night. Now that I am older I realize, they are just as vulnerable and looking up to others just as I was to them. Which is disconcerting to say the least. If we aren't able to have courage in ourselves and fight for our lives in every facet of breath, then aren't we just relinquishing ourselves to be captives of wrong-doers? Evil never takes a break, so why should the good? Here is the kicker though, evil has to work much harder at being bad. Think of a candle in the darkness...The ratio of it's luminosity or "candles" outnumbers a large portion of  dark square footage.

I think we have let our feelings and desires change our ability to be level headed. We are completely controlled by things that are ruled superficially. We have become like small children not getting our way- pouting instead of understanding with reason. We simply are lacking discipline, but yet look up to other people who have put themselves through rigid accountability. If we aren't qualifying ourselves, then how may I ask can we qualify other people? So the point I am trying to make is that we need to fight for our lives. Know that death is coming, we just don't know when, and we want to be certain that our entire time living amongst other people is helping them grow and learn to fight for their lives collectively. Because, if you aren't going to fight for yourself, who may I ask will?

Focus

I seemed to have lost it these past few weeks. My focus that is. Although, I have to admit sometimes you just need to live life like on a carousel or even a carousal becoming dizzy at life so you can appreciate it when you are still. Funny as it may seem, after being spin whipped for even for a short duration, everything seems so much clearer afterward. Kind of like that feeling you get when you are drunk, in life and off of libations. It is the continual spinning that ends up being the beast of burden, being able to know when to stop that is the kicker. Focus begins to become a stranger and then an enemy that you begin running from. Like a carousel  everything seems clear moving in one direction when you apart of the ride, you can see the objects immediately in front of you, other riders etc. However, looking from the outside in, it's difficult to see what is going on. The objects just whip around in a blur with only slight bits that are recognizable. Which is scary, because that is how life is. Unless we choose to ride the ride to see what's going on from the inside (or outside) how can we ascertain that our viewpoint is the correct one? It's important to not lose ourselves on it either and that's what is difficult. It takes discipline to say, "it's been swell, but I have to go home now". I suppose this life-view can have many applications. From kicking a drinking habit, to perusing the internet countless hours of the day, to giving into relationships, to exercising...the list goes on. Everything in moderation is key for sustainability, but shaking it up a bit every once in awhile is what keeps us growing.Walk a mile in someone elses' shoes will keep you moving forward but also make you appreciate what you have.

Patience and ADD

I don't think we have kids with Attention Deficit Disorder. I think we have kids that have been over stimulated by technology to the point where they do not know how to use their own creativity without electronics. Everything is taught and done for them. How can they learn patience if everything has been accomplished for them in ready to eat, ready assembled, fast, and happy fashion? Yet we criticize and get angry at the youth for not wanting to work or knowing how to work. Let's get real- we have conditioned them to not lift a finger. We've taught them that manual labor is beneath them.
To give them what they want. Zero discipline because we don't want to feel confrontation or hear screams, cries or be called a meanie. Perhaps this is where respect stems from too, but that is another rant for another day.
Let's just take a day or two to do nothing. You know kind of like a sabbath. I mean it, don't even pick up to phone or answer an email. Just figure out what it feels like to be unplugged for once. If people didn't die from not having access to cell phones or internet 30 years ago, chances are you or your children won't either. Enjoy!

Responsibility and me rambling

Imagine you had servants people to lift everything finger. You make a request and someone appears with the answer. No one tells you no. There are no curve balls. It's just point A to point B. Linear. Steady.

If your muscles can commit to memory a motion, and eventually run efficiently enough to waste less energy, the same can be said about our careers and lifestyles and basically anything else in life. That is why so many new weight loss programs implement strategic muscle confusion techniques or utilizing more groups of muscles than what was typical in gyms. These methods are used because they create strength and stability. The muscles become more adaptable to it's changes, and in turn provides more results and growth.

In life, these adversities and changes in the usual charters in life help provide us with growth. We become more diverse and willing and able to assist in other areas. We do not pigeon-hole ourselves into one position.

Without obstacles or things that seem unappealing, things would be happy. True happiness however is just like a muscle. Just like anything physics or math related, it is a measuring against a rate of change. If things remains linear, we would never experience moments of great clarity or exponential bliss or climax. Excitement would cease to exist because everything is just one tone. It is with the wild ups and downs and measurements in between those peaks that allow us to compare great times to not so great times. Sometimes we have to truck on through those not so great times just to know we are living and that sooner or later something good happens.

Don't stay stuck in that negative place. Keep moving forward and you will Actually MOVE from that place. If you keep looking back you will never appreciate what is ahead. So full steam ahead.

Boundaries

It seems to be the most common theme in my life at this moment- boundaries. I used to not really have any. Completely unguarded to everyone and everything, and let me tell you, after a while it becomes pretty exhausting. I don't mind giving freely and without expectation, but I also have to consider that just like any account be it a bank account or a human life account- we all have to replenish the source or we go bankrupt.

Think about the reason why we have lacked boundaries in the past. I bet it had a considerably amount of eagerness to please others or woo someone over involved with your "no job to big" mentality. After a while and standing on this verse in the bible, I have realized that the people who truly love you will love you know matter what. Who you are in your purest form (and not over exhausting yourself jumping through someone else's hoops) should be enough for them to be impressed. After that it is all sprinkles and whip cream.

I challenge you to create a boundary for yourself. It can be setting aside time, or just learning how to say no certain things. It is great discipline and can really make you feel more in control of your life and emotions.

Men with Style II

Let's just talk about this for a minute, can we? These men are gorgeous, to the point where I have to tell myself, must. look. away. I seriously have a difficult time blinking my eyes, that is how smoldering they are. 

What is it about these gentlemen that allows them to stop traffic? Maybe it's the longer hair, the mysterious eyes and mouth that make you wonder what they are thinking? Maybe it's their formal attire. For gosh sake they look like they take care of themselves.