Perfumerie

The thing about change is that it is relentless. It happens whether or not we are aware of it. We age before our own eyes and the progress is so continual yet so miniscule we are unable to notice it until we have put a gap of time between what was considered the past and what is the present.

I think about this in leiu of my past relationship. It was one of those relationships that was so catatonic and you knew it going in that you were going to be a different person coming out. You just didn't know if it was going to be good or bad. But you still submerged yourself into it. That is the problem with the human mind. Even if we know it's bad, we think well if just for a minute it can't be that bad. I should be living life (it may seem I am contradiction of my last post until you read further). The problem is, we don't know when to put space between us to really observe what is going on to make sound judgment. I relate it to a vampire upon getting his first suck of blood, it's almost impossible to pull away. It becomes hungry for more and it appears that it's appetite is insatiable and then let's face it, the guy/gal seems to just a literal life sucker. 

Even while applying perfume I have realized that overtime I have come to really get used to a specific scents. I remember the day I got one in particular and I was realized it wasn't my favorite and it didn't really fit the aromatic style I was going for. I gave it a chance though, playing with it in different settings and changing my thought pattern on the character I thought it portrayed. (Yea, I do this with perfumes, it allows me to develop characters and alter egos.) For instance if I want to feel woodsy but business casual I wear Gucci Flora, If I want to feel charming and inviting but decadent I wear Dolce and Gabbana The One, Sophisticated and feminine with class I choose Ralph Lauren Style. The list goes on. It's the one thing that makes me feel refreshed and with new identity and purpose so I don't become stationary in any one area in my life. It also triggers a explicit memory retaining sensory, so it directly slings me to positive thoughts (well mostly positive,  because I was anticipating something new and exciting upon applying said perfume) even though my other visual and textile senses may be reporting to my brain that, "Hey this place that you are in right now Charlie, well, it's a real shit hole. You should give up." Perfume... well it makes me persevere. It gives me that little morsel of beauty that is invisible to the eye.

Bringing that back around to the relationship. Well, I have to sit back and think, do I appreciate the men who I liked immediately or the ones that it took me a while to get used to? Do I like one more than the other? It's a tough call and it's strange, but I think I enjoyed the one I had to teach myself to understand and learn to like. It was an active course for change. When I wanted to give up I had to constantly look in my self and say, can you go one step further? However, it should be said I should have given myself time and space to adjust to the continual change, because after so much pushing forward you forget to nourish yourself and without nourishment we wither away. Looking back on that relationship I also learned the most, because it was so out of my normal realm of life that so many other senses were alert to make try to assess the completely new territory. More on that love story later...